Forteen Spirit

Spent four nights away from the kids and I rebelled. I stayed up late, listened to my iPod, texted friends and caught up on catch up TV. Hell, I even splashed out in trendy clothes and nails. In short, I released the inner teen. Something it seems you are prone to do hitting the big 4-O! 

Take my former school mates for instance. (Cyber surfing was another newly acquired pastime.) One has decided to become an actress in her mid thirties - a successful soap actress at that too, another headed a band. A close friend of mine is filling her evenings with song writing after her law offices closes. Another has jacked it all in to go globe trotting like a gap year student. There's something about approaching 40 that makes you want to dye your hair, get tattooed (okay, maybe piercings given every second person has a tattoo) and rage rage rage against the dying light.  

Maybe it's because 40 still means middle age. Maybe because you are entering your fifitieth decade and you should be all matronly with sensible shoes and mortgaged house in the suburbs. Or maybe you realise that you haven't quite achieved all you intended to by now. Used to be just the men that had middle life crisis, buying fast cars and eyeing up the ladies. But I think it's more pronounced for women. Despite everything we still scarifice ourselves for our family, transferring our goals to achieving for our children and families. By now I had hoped to have been a famous Hollywood star with a sideline of chart toppers, five oscars and married to Johnny Depp (and Cary Elwes, Mathew McConaughey, Jensen Ackles and that bloke from Stargate SG-1). 

I still have plans: be a best selling author, Nobel Peace Prize and world domination.  For now I am happy with a night off sans kids with spa, hair done, a pair of heels and a fancy meal. Yes I may not have become the star of my teen dreams but I am happy with where I am at. If anything I am more confident, more content and more accepting of me than ever before and given I have to live with me for the rest of my life, I think I have got a pretty good deal.